omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize