just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
