so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
