3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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