girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
