My nipple is on Facebook.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Randomize
