shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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