are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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