Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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