12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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