I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
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