i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
