Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
