When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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