She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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