Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
