So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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