Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
