what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
