i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Randomize
