.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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