Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
im on a boat
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