My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
