You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I have fence marks all over my body
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
