Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Randomize
