Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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