We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
