I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
