You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I can't turn off my feet"
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
