who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
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