i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Nobody cheats on THIS.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
