I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
