yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
