Don't you send me to vm
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
