bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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