His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
