I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
