can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
