it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
