Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize