seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize