She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
