haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
