So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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