found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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