It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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