Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
