So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
