he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
