If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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