I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
