I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
