I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
