This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I'm at about main and main street
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
