we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
