Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
