I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
