Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
