I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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