I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
