How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
