Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
