I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
